And it goes on.
But it ain't all bad.
God's been really working on how I see myself lately. My Pride has been a huge issue for me for a long time. Now for some of you that might sound odd coming from me, but my Pride comes out a little different.
I've always prided myself on being a thorn in the side of the IC types I hung around when I went to a regular church. I've basically had the "this is the way I am, and if you don't like it, "screw you" mentality. I have not shown love when I have exposed the sin of self righteousness in those who judged me. I've been just as selfrighteous back. And for that I ask forgiveness from those I've hurt and patience for those who wait for things to change. I've also used pride in "reverse" where I put myself down even when God says otherwise of me.
This week, I've been exposed. By God through an email I've shared with some of my friends, and through counselling and through prayer and speaking to my church family. I can not choose to stay this way any longer. How that's going to change things I don't know, but God does. Today I was called, Triumphant and Faithful. That means a lot coming from a Father I always felt disliked me. That like the prodigal, my Father is running too me as I acknowledge my sin, and humbly come home to Him. It's a slow walk, as I have become ashamed of my sin, but I am seeing the path form before me.
I pray for the strength and faith to place one foot infront of the other, and I look up to see Him run with open arms.
Thank You Jesus for Your steadfast love and outright Mercy for me. That even now, You accept where I'm coming from knowing where You want to place me.
Thank you all for being here for me while I go through this.
God Bless, Peace Out.
