The most nerve wracking time of all. It's finally happened.

I have a move to do on Sunday...from Chilliwack to...............................Edmonton.

A chance to see my daughter that I haven't seen since June 2003...and my wife.

My wife is not comfortable about seeing me personally but will not keep me from my little girl.

I am terrified of myself.
What I'll say, what I'll do...my wife makes me so loopy.

Pray for my sanity...and that I'll hold it all together His way.

L8R
God bless, Peace Out.
  ¶ 11:31 p.m.

  Broken Heart... Needs mending
 
Hello.
 
Interesting title, but is so true. I was talking to my girl today, and after having a good time with her, I talked to my wife.
 
As some of you know, I've been separated for over a year.
 
Today she told me she wants a divorce, and the only thing staying her hand is money.
 
My heart didn't know it could hurt more than it already had.
 
Dear God, why is it that I can't let go? Why is the pain still so new? Father, you've been giving me dreams of hope, encouragement and the strength to hold on....if not for You??
 
I pray for peace today, for myself and for my wife....that you would bless us both with Your wisdom and Your will.
 
God bless, Peace.
  ¶ 4:24 p.m.

  Hello everyone. Hey.

I'm in this weird place right now.....out of touch with myself...kinda...well...dead inside.

I haven't been able to articulate how I feel, can't seem to feel anyway...I am beginning to think I'm giving up on my life.

I've tried to talk to some friends, but I can't seem to get out of the dark...I'm walking blindly, and I hate it.

My prayers are empty, my spirit is weak, and I can't break the bindings that keep me here.

Father where are you? Where did you go? What can I do to open up, to grow, to give it all?

I just want to bury myself, to not feel this death in me...
Abba, where are you? I need you!

I have not felt this way before, it's like I'm dead but just havn't quite realized it...

My body is wasting away too...no matter how much I eat, the bones in my joints become more pronounced, and I feel weaker with each passing week.

Father, where are you??? What is my sin? Whatis it that I need to do to make this better....

Daddy, I miss you.....

Here I sit, alone, broken.....a very successful failure...
Broken
Alone...

My God, My God, why have you abandoned me???!!!!???  ¶ 10:15 p.m.

  Some strangeness. In my thoughts and some such.

Well, this last week has been odd.

I work with two guys, and moved another guy who are older, have no real job skills and live in rooming houses........alone.

Yeah, you guessed it.......the fear overwhelms me, and the people I talk to don't understand very well. Though they try too.

I don't want to end up there. Old, and alone.

Now I know......"I have Jesus, I'll never be alone."

Doesn't quite do it though. If I am to live alone for the rest of my life, why can't I just trust and be content with Him?

Then, my friend James' brother comes for a visit. We hang out at James and Christine's and man we clicked. God showed up, Christine even had a "picture" for me that really caused me to think.

Thanks God for my friends, and that I don't have to be alone.

And Lord, I still pray that You heal the wounds between Gail and I, cause I still miss her much.

God bless, Peace OUt.  ¶ 10:24 p.m.