Randomness here we go:

Numbness washes through me,
In this darkness I can not see,
What it is I'm lookin' for.
Is it finally behind this door?

I walk, I run, and trip and fall.
Lying on the ground I look up and call.
Answers that I'm lookin' for.
Is it finally behind this door?

Hands of love are reaching out,
At seeing them I begin to shout.
What is it I'm lookin' for?
And will it be behind this door?

Later, Peace Out.
  ¶ 2:50 p.m.

  Lethargy...wanna change, but can't find the energy. No really, Lethargy does that.

Honest...since seeing my wife and daughter in Edmonton two weeks ago, I've been listless. Empty.
Lethargy is all I can find to describe it...I hate the feeling, I try to think different, but am drawn back into it never the less.

Conundrum....wrapped in an enigma.....Desperately wanting to change, lethargically coasting along.

I desire His passion, His purpose and His will............................................what do I do about it..

Nothing....but I need to do something...or I will end up spending my time doing nothing, until the end of time.

I miss my girls...and yes, I still miss my wife....I miss being happy, having good long laughs and hanging with Jesus...

Can't remember how I lost this.

Father, I pray right here and right now...that You make yourself known to me....Please? I desperately need You.....more than ever.

Draw me forth from this Tomb.....

"Raymond................Raymond................come forth!!!!!!!!"
I pray to hear you, to step out of this hole and remove the burial cloth....

God bless y'all, Peace Out.
  ¶ 6:55 p.m.

  A fictional thought made real? written by R.A. Salvatore in the "Legacy of the Drow" series...by the character Drizzit Do'Urden

We are the center. In each of our minds - some may call it arrogance, or selfishness - we are the center, and all the world moves about us, and for us, and because of us. This is the paradox of community, the one and the whole, the desires of the one often in direct conflict with the needs of the whole. Who among us has not wondered if all the world is no more than a personal dream?
I do not believe that such thoughts are arrogant or selfish. It is simply a matter of perception; we can empathize with someone else, but we cannot truly see the world as another person sees it, or judge events as they affect the mind and heart of another, even a friend.
But we must try. For the sake of all the world, we must try. This is the test of altruism, the most basic and undeniable ingredient for society. Therein lies the paradox, for ultimatley, logically, we each must care more about ourselves than about others, and yet, if, as rational beings we follow that logical course, we place our needs and desires above the needs of our society, and then there is no community.
I come from "Menzoberranzan, city of drow, city of self. I have seen that way of selfishness. I have seen it fail miserably. When self-indulgence rules, than all the community loses, and in the end, those striving for personal gains are left with nothing of real value.
Because everything of value that we will know in this life comes from our relationships with those around us. Because there is nothing material that measures against the intangibles of love and friendship.
Thus we must overcome that selfishness and we must try; we must care. I saw this truth plainly following the attack on my friend. My first inclination was to believe my past had precipitated the trouble, that my life course had again brought pain to a friend. I could not bear this thought. I felt old and I felt tired. Subsequently learning the trouble was possibly brought on by my friend's old enemies, not my own, gave me more heart for the fight.
Why is that? The danger to me was no less, nor was the danger to my friends.
Yet my emotions were real, very real, and I recognized and understood them, if not their source. Now, in reflection, I recognize that source, and take pride in it. I have seen the failure of self-indulgence; I have run from such a world. I would rather die because of a friend's past than have them die because of my own. I would suffer the physical pains, even the end of my life. Better that than watch one I love suffer and die because of me. I would rather have my physical heart torn from my chest, than have my heart of hearts, the esssence of love, the empathy and the need to belong to something bigger than my corporeal form, destroyed.
They are a curious thing, these emotions. How they fly in the face of logic, how they overrule the most basic instincts. Because, in the measure of time, in the measure of humanity, we sense those self-indulgent instincts to be a weakness, we sense that the needs of the community must outweigh the desires of the one. Only when we admit to our failures and recognize our weaknesses, can we rise above them.
Together.

This really makes me think about how I "perceive" my world..

What are your thoughts??

Peace Out.
  ¶ 5:56 p.m.

  Wow...what a week.

  ¶ 11:59 a.m.