This wheel keeps on turning.....
Step by meager step.....
Hello again.. how are ya'all???
Since my last post.. I've been feeling introspective... Looking at who I am, and why I am... Thanks Jeff... for the push... I really could use your optimism and wisdom now!
I've been talking to some close friends about my view of me and their view of me and the vast difference...
Quote one friend...."I think that by acknowledging that you want to be a better friend and stick more to your convictions, you are already farther ahead in that aim than you think. I also think that you don't realize how highly you are regarded by your friends."
Thanks Mel
But sometimes I still feel like that 19 year old kid that has all these ideas and opinions that everyone shrugs off as immature... pointless and the rantings of a child... Ya know?
Also.. I've realized I make "friends" easily.. get to know people.. they talk to me, they trust me... Yet I can't trust myself... I don't get it...
Deep relationship is still difficult... Can't put my heart into it... Afraid of Risk?? Still stuck?? Mourning.. i don't know why... or maybe I can't admit it..
Still reflecting on that one..
Am I raving mad?? I sit here.. thinking of all the friends I do have, and who I know love me as much if not more than I love them, and all I can think of is the one I love who doesn't return it... Am I stupid, crazy, or just a glutton for punishment??
One day, I'll figure out how to just relax and be me with anyone.. And not be too intense about how they feel about me.. Ya know?? Just me, no holds barred and no apologies...
Hi I'm me... Deal with it.
L8R children.. Peace Out God Bless..
